The Two Kinds of Pain
This section refers to the ‘Pain of Enduring’ versus the ‘Pain of Changing’, as it pertains to relationships.
The Pain of Enduring
An example we might all be able to identify with could be a bad relationship. The components that created this relationship are not as significant as the relevant factors that are now present.
This relationship did not begin this way but your partner no longer shows you the care and respect that you know should be present in a giving relationship. You feel used and neglected. You consider the way things used to be versus the way things might be now. You both work to support your environment yet your partner develops an attitude of entitlement. They don’t support your decisions to make positive changes in your life. They say that you are no longer the person you used to be. 
They justify their shabby treatment of you because YOU have changed. As time goes on they become nasty, hard to talk to and even accusatory. They draw away from you and soon they abandon you emotionally and then physically. When you honestly consider the way they treat you, you conclude that you might be in an abusive relationship.
We all know people whose abusive relationships have escalated to the point of physical abuse. These relationships took this same path as your own, but something went terribly wrong. You stay in an abusive (unloving), relationship out of fear. Distortion in your thought patterns occurs when your fear of escalation of the abuse, is offset by the greater fear of being alone. So you endure until you get the courage to actually listen to the still small voice in your heart that tells you to get out, to change your circumstances and move on. OR, you endure and remain until you ultimately jeopardize your sanity and safety. We believe our abuser and rationalize that enduring the daily mistreatment from them mixed with the constant mental anguish we allow will somehow make this doomed relationship work out if WE try harder. Ultimately you will leave or die trying.
This pain of enduring is both mental and emotional and in too many cases becomes physical. Your partner is NOT worth this empty future you are afraid to leave and YOU are worth so much more than you think. We were all created to be functional, joyous, prosperous men and women, with the right to be loved and the ability to return love. Why would any rational thinking human being settle for anything less than that? This is the pain of remaining the same.
The Pain of Changing
Considering the above example, there is a pain involved in changing our circumstances. The ‘grim’ reality of having to confront your partner to say you’re leaving, the hardship of having to find another place to live, packing up all of your stuff, and of coarse having to explain to your “friends” why you left. Your true friends are the ones who cared enough about you to avail themselves’ to you and tell you that, “if you aren’t happy then get out”.